Thanks for checking in!
I'm soooooo sorry that I haven't been posting regularly. My schedule is still pretty chaotic, as always.
So, last quarter, I was fortunate enough to take the AH-mazing class Communication Studies 1: Principles of Oral Communication with Professor Marde Gregory, who's a phenomenon herself! She's an opinionated and experienced 66 year old lady who dresses eccentrically vibrant with gaudy, loud colors and tons of jewelry and accessories (arms covered with watches and bracelets and a neck layered in necklaces) and lives to the beat of her own drum. The woman is a GENIUS!
Anyways, she had us do 2 speeches in her class. The first one was to be 2 minutes long and it had to be about what makes us "Ordinary." Not "Different" or "Unique" or "Original", but what makes us "Ordinary" and like everyone else. All of the speeches ended up being autobiographical but still had to achieve the prompt. (this one is basically like the abridged version of my life story) Here is mine:
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Sky
Lea Ross
November
6th, 2014
(Date
Delivered)
Communication
Studies 1
Speech:
What’s Ordinary About Me?
Hi everyone. My name
is Sky Lea Ross and I’m a 4th year Gender Studies Major.
I think what’s
ordinary about me are my emotions. As humans, we all have them. But I
feel that many of us choose to ignore them. We numb ourselves with
alcohol, drugs, sex, food, heck, even work. But I didn’t do any of
those. Though, what I did was probably just as bad.
I decided to bottle
my emotions inside and hide them from everyone else as well as
myself.
Let’s just say,
the early stages of my life weren’t easy. As far as a childhood
goes, mine never existed.
I was raised by very
verbally and physically abusive as well as emotionally and
financially neglectful parents.
I’m talking about
getting burned with cigarettes, having nails dug into my flesh, being
slapped in the face repeatedly, not being able to visit friends and
family, not being able to go on field trips, not being able to go
outside, you name it.
And to add to the
pain, kids at school were ridiculously cruel. They called me ugly
every day. They called me a bitch. They put anything they could find
off of the floor in my hair. Pencil shavings, pencil lead, staples,
candy wrappers, balled up paper, broken pieces of eraser, anything
they could find.
And I still bottled
up all of my feelings. And what happens when you bottle up something
that’s under immense pressure and stress? It explodes. And that’s
exactly what I did. I exploded.
I was suicidal
starting from the age of 9 all the way through middle school and even
into high school when I got put into foster care.
And it didn’t help
that I was later diagnosed with PTSD and Bipolar Disorder.
But now that I’m
older and I’ve had all of these experiences, I’ve become more in
tune with my emotions. I have learned to release them and express
them. I go to therapy regularly and I vent to my friends and family.
I’ve even learned
how to channel my feelings into creative energy. I’ve written over
70 songs, 30 of which are finished, they just need to be recorded.
Over 90 poems, over 20 short stories and I’m currently working on 4
novels, one of which will be my autobiography.
So, I challenge you
all to express yourselves! Release your emotions! Don’t ignore
them, distract yourself from them or hide from them. Just be open to
embracing them.
As my awesome
mentor, Ariel Penn, who is also a UCLA alumnus, always says, “Feel
your feelings. They can become a catalyst for positive action.”
Thank you.
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I never knew I had a knack for public speaking, but my first speech in this class was really well received and Professor Gregory immediately named me among the top 3 speakers in the class. I got tons of praise and constructive feedback from my classmates and was ready to go on to the final stage.
Right before that, however, I came down with a fever of 101.6 degrees for 4 consecutive days and was worried, so I went to the nearest Urgent Care and they diagnosed me with Bronchitis. This came from out of the blue, I was not expecting to be sick at all, but it's no surprise. I grew up with heavy second hand smoking that severely damaged my immune system and I was actually grateful to have received this diagnosis since I feel that this is something I have always had to deal with. I've always had lung problems and I was glad that someone finally recognized this and gave me an inhaler to help resolve it.
Anyways, because of the Bronchitis, I was out for 2 weeks straight! I missed all of my classes and I wouldn't have eaten if it weren't for my lovely staff of RAs who came to my room to deliver food and kind words. Thank goodness they exist!
After I was well enough to go back to class, I came back on the final day to present my last speech. The prompt this time was to discuss something controversial or not really well known, and we had 5 mins this time, so I decided to talk about BDSM. Here's how that went:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sky
Lea Ross
December
17th, 2014
(Date
Delivered)
Communication
Studies 1
Final
Speech: BDSM; It’s Not What You Think
For the last two
weeks as I was suffering with Bronchitis, I emailed both Marde and
Arash and asked them to fill me in on what I missed and to tell me
what exactly the final entailed. They both pretty much told me that
the prompt was to discuss something controversial, provocative or to
teach everyone something new.
Well, when I think
of something that’s controversial, that most people don’t know
anything about or that is commonly misunderstood, I think of the BDSM
scene.
Now, a lot of people
tend to think that members of the BDSM community are perverts,
freaks, murderers, rapists, serial killers or psychologically
damaged, and none of these are actually true. In fact, it’s quite
the opposite.
For those of you who
don’t know what BDSM is, it stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism
and Masochism. We’ll go through this step by step.
Bondage is pretty
self-explanatory. It’s the act of tying up or being tied up. This
can be done with rope, chains, sheets, hand-cuffs, or anything you
have handy.
Discipline is also
self-explanatory. It’s the necessity of practicing restraint, which
is very important in the practice of BDSM because those who do must
avoid self-harm or harming others.
Sadism and Masochism
are where it gets a little more complex.
The word “Sadistic”
tends to have a very negative connotation. People use it when they're referring to Hitler and they might say things like “oh, that person
is sadistic, they’re evil, they enjoy causing others pain and
making them miserable.”
Again, when it comes
to BDSM this is not true. Of course, the word can be used that way
and it does hold some truth that, yes, Sadists are those who enjoy
inflicting pain on others, but it’s not done to make them
miserable. It’s done to give others pleasure, and that’s where
Masochists come in.
As some of you may
already know, Masochists are those who enjoy receiving pain.
Some of the
activities done within BDSM include:
Flogging or
Whipping,
Skin Piercing with
needles or other sharp objects,
Asphyxiation or what
they like to call “breath play” in which suffocation is done but
in a safe way
Electric shocks,
which are rare
And Body Branding,
which may be done with hot candle wax or other hot objects.
Most people tend to
think these activities are not usually done by the general public,
but this is, in fact, also incorrect. According to a recent survey
done, over 43% of respondents claimed to participate in BDSM
activities either half of the time or all of the time within their
sexual encounters.
Other studies done
on the market of BDSM items and toys have shown that there has been a
50% increase in the sales of Whips, an 80% in the purchase of
Blindfolds, and a 100% increase in the sales of Handcuffs. There are
many other statistics on other items that are more X-rated, but I
won’t mention them because you get the idea.
But basically, BDSM
is a culture that requires much trust and compassion and it involves
romance because it’s all about exercising limits and making sure
that you don’t hurt the other person.
It’s not all about
leather either. When most people imagine BDSM they think about a
person decked out in all leather with a face mask on, but it’s not
centered around leather, although many individuals within the BDSM
scene may be fond of the style.
The Professional
Dominatrix does exist, and these are people who are paid to inflict
pain on a willing recipient. And it tends to be mostly politicians
who purchase these services due to the reverse of power balance.
Politicians are authority figures with much power and influence, and
therefore some of them really appreciate being dominated.
Like the gay/queer
scene has Tops and Bottoms, BDSM is focused on Doms and Subs, or
those who are dominant or submissive.
And BDSM is a
very stigmatized community. Many members are closeted in fear that
they may be ostracized by their friends and family since it’s so
taboo to talk about. And that’s exactly why I’m talking about it
now.
You’re probably
wondering, “Why does Sky care about this? Who gives a crap?” But
I care for 2 reasons:
1) As I’ve said
before, I am an adamant Gender Studies Major and a Feminist, and I
feel that people should be free to express themselves sexually in
healthy ways.
And 2) As an avid
writer, I do like to dabble in writing Romance novels as well as
light Erotica, and though I don’t belong to the BDSM community
myself, I want to represent various communities in ways that are
fair, accurate and respectful.
The media has made
representations of BDSM, like Rihanna’s song “S&M” and the
book Fifty Shades of Grey, but both of these are
problematic in that they can be either beneficial or detrimental to
society.
Many argue that
Fifty Shades of Grey has made a positive
influence because it has introduced newcomers to the BDSM scene, and
that’s great. It’s awesome that people are discovering this and
opening their minds and expanding their horizons.
But a lot of people
read this and think BDSM is new when it’s not. It’s been around
for ages.
And Fifty Shades
of Grey, as many critiques have argued, is poorly written and
distasteful and is an inaccurate representation of BDSM.
So, my main point
here is that humans are so quick to judge, and find fear, hate, or
become disgusted by things that we don’t understand or aren’t
knowledgeable about.
That’s why I urge
you to be curious and explore the unknown and learn about things you
don’t understand because things like BDSM aren’t what you
initially think.
Thank you.
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After I gave this speech, the room was filled with a loud applause and my Professor was in utter shock. She was speechless for a few minutes (ironically) and then gave me an earful about how much she loved it!
And I passed that class (along with the rest) with flying colors!
Thanks for reading. <3
